HARD-WIRED
FOR LOVE
Babies come with their brains ‘hard-wired’ by biology to learn about their environment and connect with others. This is especially the case with people closest to them who are invested in protecting them and helping them thrive. Eye-contact, holding your baby close, reading to them, and smiling all stimulate your baby’s biological and lifelong predisposition for attachment and love.
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LET’S DANCE—NEURONS & SYNAPSES
1 billion neurons (brain cells) are present at birth. The synapses that transmit information between neurons form at lightning speed in the early years—several hundred per second! This is more than needed because only connections that get used will stay. If experiences are positive, this is what leaves an imprint and if negative, this is what stays.
THE RIGHT START MATTERS
For both emotional and cognitive skills, more advanced ones build upon basic ones. This means the basic skills built on attachment and positive stimulation must be strong. ‘Getting it right the first time’ has been shown by research to be more effective than later intervention. Babies aren’t blank slates at all. They are sophisticated little beings!
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THE SECRET SAUCE—ATTACHMENT
Attachment is needed for a sense of security, trust, and self-worth. This lets babies, toddlers, and preschoolers feel they can count on you and are worthy of being loved and protected as they are. This is incredibly powerful! Young children use a secure attachment to have the confidence to successfully explore the wider world and all the
people in it.
READING IS FUNDAMENTAL
Sophisticated communication through language is uniquely human. Babies and young children are highly motivated and skilled to master language. The importance of reading starting at birth is one of the most robust research findings in child development. Hearing complex language is very important for young children as it stimulates vocabulary, language development, communication, and logical thinking.
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SOWING THE SEEDS OF ACCEPTANCE
Reading promotes physical and emotional closeness between you and your child, and this in turn promotes secure attachment. Sending positive messages your child is loved and safe through language helps them feel closer to you and better about themselves.
KNOWING OUR OWN EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE
To be emotionally healthy as children and then as adults, parents must encourage and support their child to thrive in their own self. To do so, we need to aware of how we feel about ourselves and about life, and then do some healing of our own emotional landscape. One extremely important area is our own inner child.
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WHO IS MY
INNER CHILD?
The inner child is our earliest emotional and cognitive wiring that occurred during our child development in our formative years. All of us have a part of our self—a core self, a natural self—that came into this world who wanted to be loved and to bring out our gifts. Attachment is the mechanism that starts our inner child.
GOOD PARENT MESSAGES
Healing our inner child is supported with ‘good parent messages’. Affirmations like “You are special. I believe in you. You don’t have to be afraid.”, that are about love, acceptance, worthiness, and safety let us heal negative belief systems and that wound of not getting the full love we needed as a child. How amazing is that?!
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NO TIME LIKE
THE PRESENT
Being the parent we want to be does take commitment, and the window for certain important opportunities is quite narrow. Attachment is laid down in the first year and 90% of brain development occurs in the first three. We have the opportunity to re- parent our self or risk passing feelings of not being loved on to our kids.